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Showing posts from June, 2012

A little extra effort!

Love a little more than what is necessary, work a little harder than what is required, be a little kinder than what is usual, give a little bit more than what you feel you can afford, stand in prayer a little longer than what you intended and be a little more patient than what you feel you can handle....it is that little extra effort sparked by sincerity in the heart that makes your ordinary self extraordinary.

The stupidest!

Mr. Azu and his friend Oko, were arguing about their sons. Mr. Azu argued that his son was more stupid than Oko's son. Oko however disagreed so, they decided to put their sons to test. Mr. Azu called his son and asked that he buys him a box of matches from the market. The boy left without even asking for money. Mr. Azu said, "yousee how stupid he is, he didn't even ask for money". Oko retorted, "is this what you call foolishness?, just wait and see." Oko calls his son and said to him, "Go home and check if I am in the house." Oko's son took to his heels and came back panting: "Papa, you no dey house. Mama say you dey your friend place."

Every where you go!

This is a miracle that happened recently in Wuse Zone 3, Abuja, Nigeria . A boy (Samuel) & girl (Anne) loved each other so much and so sincerely. They used to chat on their mobile phones for hours. In order to reduce the expenses both of them got the same network SIM cards. The guy went abroad for a month on an official trip. The girl died in an accident. The girl's last wish was to be buried along with her mobile phone. After a month the guy called the girl's mom and said, "Aunty, I'll be coming tomorrow. I want this to be a surprise, so please don't tell Anne." The lady didn't know what to say. The next day, the guy came and asked about Anne. Everyone told him the truth but he said "Don't joke with me. I spoke with her just yesterday." Nobody believed him. Suddenly the guy's mobile phone rang and displayed "INCOMING CALL, ANNE". He immediately put the phone on loudspeaker. It was clearly ...

Robo-secretary!

John: Your secretary is very sexy...! Tom: Thanks! It's a robot actually, named "Monica". If you squeeze her right breast, she takes dictation & if you squeeze her left breast, she types letters! I'll Lend it to you for a day & you can see her functions.. ...Next day... John called Tom from hospital & shouted: You bastard! You didn't tell me that the "HOLE" in- between Monica's legs is a pencil sharpener!

A guide to flatulate in the public without been caught!

To mess for public dey sweet but if dem catch u, no be small embarassment o! Just follow dis guide lines and u are on ur way to being a star in dis profession. 1. When u enter a hall, check d wind direction, if na closed hall with AC, better. Maximum impact. 2. Make sure say u sidon face d wind direction. ... 3. Make sure say u get enough leg space. U go soon knw why. 4. Form ajebo by crossing ur legs every now and then. 5. U don ready to execute, try hold am until time wey d hall dey noisy incase ur mess na d type wey dey sound like AK47. 6. Now carefully cross ur leg, right over left. 7. Elevate d right yansh lobe. 8. Release small (sound check) 9. If no sound, allow make d mess flow steady. 10. Allow time for proper circulation. NOTE: 1. Make sure say no be u be d first person to complain. 2. When ppl begin dey shout say e no go better for d person wey do dis kind thing, simply ask "why person no fit respect d presence of odas na?" 3. No hala pass odas if no...

What's the problem police officer?

A driver is stopped by a police officer. The driver asks, “What’s the problem officer?” Officer: “You were going at least 75 in a 55 zone.” Man: “No sir, I was going 65.” Wife: “Oh, Harry. You were going 80.” (The man gives his wife a dirty look.) Officer: “I’m also going to give you a ticket for your broken tail light.” Man: “Broken tail light? I didn’t know about a broken tail light!” Wife: “Oh Harry, you’ve known about that tail light for weeks.” (The man gives his wife another dirty look.) Officer: “I’m also going to give you a citation for not wearing your seatbelt.” Man: “Oh I just took it off when you were walking up to the car.” Wife: “Oh Harry, you never wear your seatbelt.” The man turns to his wife and yells, “SHUT IT PLEASE!” The Officer turns to the woman and asks, “Ma’am, does your husband talk to you this way all the time?” The wife says, “No, only when he’s drunk.”

Danny's three wishes!

After 15 years of marriage, Kate leaves her husband Danny. Danny lost everything to his X wife, so thinking he’s going insane he takes a little walk through the forest. As he was walking his foot hits a lamp and a genie comes out. The genie says, “I’ll give u 3 wishes, BUT everything you get your wife gets two times as much. Danny wishes for a car and his wife got two times as many cars. Then he wished for a house and his wife got two houses. Then Danny asked the genie to choke him half to death. *What do you think Danny wants to happen to his WIFE?

Joke: Relax! let the poison work!

A man was dying slowly of an unknown illness on his sick bed. His wife sat at the edge of his bed comforting him to take heart and that he may be well soon. The man looked up and said weakly, "Sweet love, you have always been there for me even when I sin against you... I have something I must confess", but his wife was quick to say that: "There's no need to confess". "No, no!" he insisted, "I want to die a peaceful death so I must confess... I slept with your mother, sister, and your best friend!" His wife replied: "Shhhh!!! I know, I know dearie, but please relax. Remember the doctor said you shouldn't talk too much...So now just rest and let the poison work in your system."

Are people taking their comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke?

If an author decides to write a book on Ghana, the author would discover that more than half of the book would dwell on issues that border on corruption, insincerity, treachery, avarice, gangsterism and you name it. No doubt, the entire content of the book would dwell on the bad and ugly aspects of our on-going democracy rather than the good side. The reason for this cannot be far-fetched as our on-going democracy is literally churning out more of bizarre political events than virtuous political events. I must confess that I was compelled to write this piece after reading the saying of Will Rogers, “Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke.” Why would many Ghanaians not take the politicians as a joke when some politicians: *would continue to promise the youths jobs to no avail? *easily engage in a fight at the slightest provocation? *allow the management of our monopolistic VRA and ECG to sell darkness to Ghanians at an e...

Does ethnic trappings as propagated by the likes of Nii Lamptey, Ken Agyapong, etc define how you connect with Ghanaians?

I have an acquintance who recently asked me why I love across the 'ethnic' line. I told him it's the spiritual connection that matters more to me than the tribalist or so-called racial classification, including common interests. Without dismissing the value or validity of the question, I was a bit surprised, considering that the person professes to believe that we are all made in the image of God. We've mostly become enlightened enough to understand that we are all one, apart from the cultural, tribal or religious trappings that emphasise superficial differences more than our common humanity and divinity. I go through the Bible, Zen & Buddhist & 'New Thought' etc teachings, as I do the Islamic teachings of which I was raised as a child. In the same vein, I share my love with who-so-ever I deeply connect with. Does ethnic & religious trappings or so called 'racial purity' as propagated by the likes of Nii Lamtey, Ken Agyapong, etc define...

The teacher and the little naughty boy!

A teacher fell asleep in class and a little naughty boy walked up to him: Little boy : “Teacher are you … sleeping in class?” Teacher : “No I am not sleeping in class.” Little boy : “What were you doing sir ?” Teacher : ” I was talking to God.” The next day the naughty boy fell asleep in class and the same teacher walks up to him… Teacher : “young man, you are sleeping in my class.” Little boy : “No not me sir, I am not sleeping.” Teacher: “What were you doing.??” Little boy : “I was talking to God.” Teacher: “What did HE say??” Little boy : “God said HE never spoke to you yesterday.

Useless advice?

WOLE sees a man leaning against the wall of a large building. The man is puffing away, one cigarette after another. WOLE says, “Sir, I couldn’t help noticing how you chain-smoke. How many packs do you smoke a day?” “Four” the man replied. “How long have you been smoking?” “Thirty years” he said. “That’s over six thousand packs. If you didn’t smoke, you could have saved enough money to buy this building.” The smoker takes a deep puff and says, “Do you smoke?” The man replied, “Never.” “Do you own this building?” “No”, he replied. “Well, I do.”

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