A guide to flatulate in the public without been caught!

To mess for public dey sweet but if dem catch u, no be small embarassment o! Just follow dis guide lines and u are on ur way to being a star in dis profession.
1. When u enter a hall, check d wind direction, if na closed hall with AC, better. Maximum impact.
2. Make sure say u sidon face d wind direction. ...
3. Make sure say u get enough leg space. U go soon knw why.
4. Form ajebo by crossing ur legs every now and then.
5. U don ready to execute, try hold am until time wey d hall dey noisy incase ur mess na d type wey dey sound like AK47.
6. Now carefully cross ur leg, right over left.
7. Elevate d right yansh lobe.
8. Release small (sound check)
9. If no sound, allow make d mess flow steady.
10. Allow time for proper circulation.

NOTE:
1. Make sure say no be u be d first person to complain.
2. When ppl begin dey shout say e no go better for d person wey do dis kind thing, simply ask "why person no fit respect d presence of odas na?"
3. No hala pass odas if not u go bcom suspect.
4. Take style disengage frm d area, relocate to another zone and repeat d exercise.