Yesterday
Yesterday I slept.
It was a fitful sleep
I tossed and turned
Whimpered and yearned
For the moment I would wake
Because,
Yesterday I dreamed
I dreamed of you
I dreamed of me
We made plans
Wanted a family
Yesterday you died
I am kneeling once again
Upon the freshly packed earth
Staring at the spot that will soon bear your marker
A tear traces its saline trail from the corner of my eye
Down my nose and now, it hangs precariously off the tip
It drops to the ground
And finally it hits me:
YOU’RE down there!
There’s no air!
You can’t breathe!
My fingers scratch at the earth
Frantically
Hot liquid streams down my face as I call to you
My nails break but I feel nothing
I ignore the blood from the pads of my fingers
I must get to you.
My heart is hammering,
Loudly in my ears
And now the soil is moist with my tears
Hands grab onto mine in an attempt to still them
A voice
Insistent in my ear
And yet I do not understand
They’re wrong!
You’re not gone!
You can’t be gone!
The hands move up to my forearms,
Lifting me up
Pulling me away
“No, he’s down there”
My screams mingle with my words
My breath is laboured
Chest bursting with fear;
Fear of a life without you
“He can’t breathe, let him out”
I feel myself being pulled down to the ground
(A life without your touch)
Arms wrap around me as I plead
(A life without your smell)
“You can’t leave him in there…”
(A life without your voice)
“He’s gonna die!”
The hands hold me tighter
And the lack of response
The Absolute silence
The look in my companion’s eyes as I search them pleadingly
My struggles cease
As I finally realize
Yesterday you died
And I died with you.
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