The evil that women do

Com'on guys, have you ever experienced this at any point of your life? You find a very gorgeous, full figured, 5.11 feet plus lady. She is coffee brown complexion or maybe fair like a river goddess, with long flowing hair, ruby red lips, sparkling eyes, sexy and curvy hips.

Then you take her home with pride only to wake up with a flat- chested, short chick who is equally as black as charcoal, bald, chapped-lipped with crossed eyes and stilettos off. Please, tell me what will you do in such situation? Run? Scream? Faint? Or just continue with the night fun? Please, feel free to share your thoughts with me.

But, why in the name of humanity do we ladies/women do this to men? Deceiving them to believe we are what we are not!

This is called false advertisement and justice should be done. Let your man like, love and accept you for who you really are and not a fake personality and curvy figures.

Let's start with the bleaching, which I have constantly hammered on; Don't those women who always want to turn from Nkechi, Sukura, Amina to Nikky Minaj, Beyonce, or Britney, realize that they eventually have to continue 'washing' their skins until their skeletons start showing?

There is a certain case of a woman who was recently flown abroad because she suffered complications during a surgery here in Nigeria. She used a particular drug that retained her youthfulness for seven years. She wore an ageless, succulent look.

At a point she became susceptible to unnecessary weight gain and stretch marks and was unable to conceive after about five years of marriage. It was only after further questioning that she admitted to using youth maintenance cream and one which she inserts in her vagina.

It ended up blocking her womb and causing severe damages to her outer skin because she also used an overdose. Her life is presently at stake. If she survives the surgery, her chance of becoming a mother is only by the grace of God.

I have also confirmed that you can't actually bleach your butts, so why bother? Your lover or boyfriend would still notice it during the romance interlude. The demarcation line between your light body and dark buttocks will be like burnt yam and fried plantain, then how would you explain that to him? Blame your underwear for refusing to bleach your bottom? Why can't you just be black and proud?

Then, there comes with over padded bra. My dear ladies, do you know how annoying it would be for your guy to remove a bra with high hopes to see two pointed pawpaw or at least rounded oranges but instead he sees a dry chest with some hair sprouting indiscriminately around? The poor man has stared at your tempting 'padded' chest all day in cold sweat, conjuring up all manners of filthy thoughts. And then 'Bingo'...the Bra is off and no boobs to fold and fondle.

The worse is this new body magic that has become so rampant. Amongst them all, the padded pants. How can a full African woman use her hard-earned money to buy such an item? Any time she sits down, she would simply bounce like a tennis. The butts would deflate eventually, wouldn't it? Because it can't be permanent in your butts. So, if you see a woman with a surprising massive bumper 'backyard', be suspicious and get ready to dodge her before she deflates and bomb you in the process.

The weirdest one is the belt that makes women look slim. For crying out loud,there are other ways to get slim fitted without the magic belt.Men would have to start being afraid to remove belts from ladies waist to avoid been thrown off balance by bulged stomach.If your man truly loves you, but you are plus-sized, he can simply make you run from Ikeja to Lekki phase one every morning to get his desired figure.

Please, to whom it may concern, I honestly think coloured contact lenses should be banned. How can a black woman have green or purples eyes, that is witch craft not sexy anymore.That alone could scare real men away from you. All a man can do is just to keep staring at your eyes and silently praying you don't transform into a cat or some weird creatures any minute. Any man,who dares take you home, will have to turn on the lights during any romantic venture, just to make sure you don't develop claws. Men don dey fear for their lives oh!

Over make-ups too is another issue. Women without eyebrows suddenly developing bushy brows. Not to mention that they add eyelashes that look like palm tree leaves and as they blink, you can actually feel a faint of breeze emanating from the eyes area. Then there is a heavy foundation. Foundation to what? To build a three story building on your face? You keep adding and adding lots of chemical to your face, until you turn to 'Adamma masquerade' or “Ojuju Calabar’.

What about the colour riot lipsticks? I have even seen green and blue lipsticks. At a point, I was wondering if she was sick or suffering from an ailment or an unknown disease.

You will see a beautiful fair lady with dark legs, multi-coloured face, green nails, and mammy-water hair, com'on what are you selling. Why not be your real self and see how men would rush you like Akara-balls fried by an American woman?

Be a true black African woman with pride and virtues and see how well you will be appreciated!