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Showing posts from May, 2012

Will a mixture of omo and klin produce a foam?

Obukokwo asks his Teacher; "Excuse maddad, if u mix Omo & Klin, will there be foam?" Teacher responded, "yes of course. Why ask such a stupid question at d beginning of d year. Are you going to pass this class at all?" Obukokwo laughs and whispers to the other kids, "how can you get foam without adding water? Are we goin to learn anythin here at all?"

The wish of an African!

I had a dream last night, which seems very true. In my dream God took a representative from all the continents to lay down their wishes to him. The rules for the wishes was that, each representative gets twice the wish of the one before him. The African representative was third in the queue. The first man, "The European", requested for wealth and the American got twice, the American ask for natural resources and the African got twice. It was then the turn of the African to get his wish, he look behind him and saw the Asian man. He looked straight into God's eyes and said: "Ei but can you guess what he said? Let me laugh before i tell you haahaa. He said, God take one of my eyes. So can you imagine wat happens to the innocent Asian man and those his eyes. As i was pitying him, I was woken by a cock.

Na this be family matter tooo!

There live a black man in a certain town where he decided to take a rest under a shade to enjoy his banana. A white man also came to the same place under the shade to also take a fresh air with his monkey. The black man had a call and left his banana on the seat he was seating on to receive his call, he return to his seat after the call to realised the banana has been eaten by the white man's monkey. So he got angry and asked the white man, why did you allow your monkey to eat my banana? The white man answered and said, if your own brother has eaten your banana, what is your beef? Okay, the black man said. The white man also had a running stomach and left his monkey behind to release himself, by the time he also return to his seat, he saw that his monkey has been killed by the angry black man. Angrily he asked the black man, why did you kill my monkey? The black man answered, oh man, so if I have killed my on brother, what is your wahala. This one na family mata Ooo

A naked woman and a taxi driver!

A naked dagomba lady ran into a moshie man's taxi. She told the driver where she was going. The moshie man didn't start the car but he was just staring at the girl over & over again. The lady saw him and said: what's ur problem man?? Haven't u seen a naked lady before ??? Moshie man replied: "l am not looking at ur nakedness, I was just wondering where U kept the money u are going to pay me."

I'll marry the content and ignore the container!

In a singles convention a prayer point was raised" that singles should pray for their heart desires". A lady prayed,"oh lord I don't want to marry a short man. Any short man that is coming way I bound him by holy ghost fire! And there's this short man standing next to her, praying: oh lord I'm a short man but I'm a billionaire. When she heard the word ' billionaire', her prayer changed to "oh lord is that your voice? Who am I to say no? I will marry the ' content' and ignore the 'container'.

Na this lottery be the devil's plan?

This is a real story that happened in the KUTU'S international church Ghana Sunyani Newtown. There lived a poor boy of age 23. This boy had been an orphan since infancy. The boy was very religious and always sleeps in the church premisses. One day after his usual bedtime prayers his late grandmother appeared to him and gave him 5 numbers to stake. The boy became confuse and wondered how a christian child will stake lotto, so he decided to consult his pastor. When he informed the pastor the pastor told him it was the plan of the devil. He said the devil is trying to make you sin. He even added if the lord will bless you it will not be through lottery. So the pastor collected the number to pray over it. The next morning the boy heard from a local radio that all the numbers given to him by his late grandmother dropped, so he ran straight to his pastor office to inform him. The boy: Pastor all the numbers dropped last night. The Pastor: Are you really Sure. The Boy: Yes,

An unfaithful intelligent wife!

A couple was celebrating their 30th wedding anniversary. For the entire time they had been married, the wife had kept a safe which the husband had never been allowed to look into. He asked her if, since they had been married so long, he could see what she had been keeping all these years. She said OK and opened the safe. In it were a pile of money totalling Ghc 10,000 and three chicken eggs. He asked her, “What are the eggs doing in there?” She said,”Well, I have to admit that I haven’t been completely faithful to you. Whenever I strayed, I put an egg in the safe.” He thought about it and said, “Well, I guess I can’t be too upset about three eggs. But where did all the money come from?” She replied, “Every time I got a dozen, I sold them.”

The human weed killer!

A rich man was riding in the back of his limousine when he saw a man eating grass by the road side. He ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate..''why are you eating grass?' he asked the man '' i dont have any money for food'' the poor man replied ''oh please come to my house'' but sir i have a wife and 4children'' ''bring them along'' the rich man said. They all got in to the limo. Once underway, the poor fellow said ''sir you are too kind, thank you for taking all of us in. The rich man replied, "no, you don't understand, the grass at my house is over 3 meter tall, that's why I'm bringing you to my house.

Job Interview!

A man goes for a job interview... Boss : Name please? Man : Kareem Boss : Sex ? Man : Yes. 2 to 5 times a week! Boss : No, no . . . I mean, male or female? Man : Both male & female & sometimes with Camel. Boss : Holy cow! Man : YES , I did 1 time with a cow too. Boss : But isn't dat hostile? Man : Horse style, doggy style, any style! Boss : oh dear! Man ; No deer ; deer run too fast!

Ali, the mathematician? Lol!!!

A mathematics teacher stood before a class of pupils n said "it is time for calculation". Knowing very well that Ali, a stubborn boy in the class who is also empty headed when it comes to solving maths questions was sleeping while class was on going, he decided to call him to answer his first question. Maths Teacher: Ali, if you have 12 chocolates and you give 5 to Ama, 3 to Akosua and 4 to Afia, what will u get? Ali: 3 new girlfriends. Lol!!!

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