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Showing posts from March, 2012

A thing of beauty it was, but useless in a fight!

By AlatiphA - March 31, 2012

Into a Belfast pub comes Paddy Murphy, looking like he'd just been run over by a train. His arm is in a sling, his nose is broken, his face is cut, and bruised, and he's walking with a limp. "What happened to you?" asks Sean, the bartender. "Jamie O'Conner and me had a fight," says Paddy. "That little O'Conner," says Sean, "He couldn't do that to you, he must have had something in his hand." "That he did," says Paddy, "a shovel is what he had, and a terrible lickin' he gave me with it." "Well," says Sean, "you should have defended yourself. Didn't you have something in your hand?" That I did," said Paddy, "Mrs. O'Conner's breast, and a thing of beauty it was, but useless in a fight."

Am I not Ghanaian like you?

By AlatiphA - March 29, 2012

Drip drop, The rain falls on my abode, Letting drops into my sleeping place, On the ground. It’s not a house this's the place where I live, It’s a tent, torn and tattered. Four years after getting this tent I am forgotten, Just a statistic, Coming up in the news, Showing how many were displaced in the violence. The politicians I hear, Are campaigning again, Saying that they have billions to spend on campaigns. Why won’t they spend some of it on me? Give me somewhere to stay, Return to me my dignity, Which I lost in the 2008 political violence. I don’t live here by choice, but by circumstance. Politicians and government make promises, But am still here, While they sleep in their cozy mansions, Which I hear are featured on TV. I don’t have a TV, to watch the news, I lost everything in post elections, My property and money, family, and my dignity. I voted for a better Ghana, And it turned me into a refugee in my own country. They say I am internally disp...

Why does things like this keep happening?

By AlatiphA - March 27, 2012

This is very serious oh! Please be informed. I was really touched when I read this! This is a true and very moving story. Why does things like this keep happening? Please read on : A certain rich business man had a beautiful daughter, who fell in love with a guy who was a Cleaner. When the girl's father came to know about their love, he did not like it at all, and so began to protest about it. Now it happened that the two lovers decided to leave their homes for a happy future. The girl's father started searching for the two lovers but could not find them. At last, he accepted their love and asked them to come back home in a local newspaper. Her father said "If you both come back, I will allow you to marry the guy you love, I accept that you love each other truly." So in this way, their love won and they returned home. The couple went to town to shop for the wedding dress. He was dressed in white shirt that day. While he was crossing the road to the other side ...

A letter to the voter!

By AlatiphA - March 27, 2012

Dear Voter, I was reading an article about Obama this morning. He has been asking voters all over the country why he should run for presidency again. He said he has been trying to be a great leader and lead the American people well, yet he gets opposition from all sides, from the Republican Party, from people who believe he is not a bona fide American and many others. I have also been reading a lot about great leaders. It got me thinking about Ghanaian leaders. I realized that we get the leaders we deserve. Why? Because we choose based on other things apart from their leadership ability. Before we point fingers at our leaders, for all their misdeeds can we also plead guilty? Who gave MP's their good complex? We did! We made our MP's gods in exchange for favors, money, and jobs. That’s why they have an entitlement complex. When our tribal politicians do wrong we say our people are being targeted. We encourage our leaders to be bad leaders. We keep those corrupt, greedy p...

A letter to a politician- Part III!

By AlatiphA - March 26, 2012

Hi Mr. Politician, Hey, how are you doing? Man you look good. That Italian suit that costs more then what I earn in a month. That silk tie that could pay my electricity bill. Those italian shoes that could pay my rent for a month. That shirt made out of pure Egyptian cotton, that would pay my ... Dont get me started. Oh damn your looking good. Too bad my sweat is paying for that good life your having. Am working hard but I don't see the fruits, because your eating all of them. Am barely making it, while your busy spending it. You dont want to pay tax, say you have many responsibilities, what do I have? You dont want to pay tax yet you expect me to pay tax so you can live it large while I barely make it from payslip to payslip. As you sleep on your 1000 thread cotton Egyptian sheets do you dream about me, do you? Do you think about your meal ticket? Do you ever wonder how am doing? Do you ever think how you could make my life better? Do I ever cross your mind anytime as the ...

Utterly unashamed, unprecedented deceit!

By AlatiphA - March 23, 2012

"I'm not the sort of person who jumps on the gaffe of the moment, but this feels like a watershed sort of thing. ... The degree to which politicians lie all the time about all sorts of stuff and do n't care whether they are caught, is perhaps the most notable thing about campaign. This is not a normal amount of people lying. They lie about everything! Politicians lie "arguably more than any modern person, and there are a lot of creeps among them," and that he is guilty of "utterly unashamed, unprecedented deceit."

A letter to a politician- Part II!

By AlatiphA - March 23, 2012

Hallo Mr. Politician. I know you don't know me even though I have been communicating with you so I thought I would introduce myself. Like many other Ghanaians, I am a worker, working every day to pay my bills. I wish I could say I save alot of money every month but with the economy being the way it's, it's a struggle even paying bills. Everything has gone up and the salary doesn't seem to be adjusted to commensurate to that. So now some things that were basic necessities are now luxuries. And the taxes are still the same and some have even gone up, even though I am not doing too good on the money front. Then I see the government spending money on frivolous things like furniture from abroad then I wonder are the carpenters in Ghana incompetent? Like so many other Ghanaians my parents wanted me to have a better future so they encouraged me to go to school. Our generation we were told that education would be our ticket to a better future and a great job. So our par...

Father in law and son in law in a conversation!

By AlatiphA - March 23, 2012

A man went to meet his fatherin law to be & was chewing gum.The father in law shouted at him in a harsh voice… Father In Law :- Young man, U're coming to seek my daughter's hand in marriage and u're chewing gum.That's a sign of disrespect! Man :- Sir, I only chew gum when i drink or smoke. Father In Law:- U mean u drink & smoke and u're here to seekmy daughter's hand in marriage? Man :- Sir I only drink & smoke when i go to the club. Father In Law :- U club too? Man :- I'm sorry sir, I started clubbing when i came out of prison. Father In Law :- U've also been in prison before? Omg! Man :- Sorry sir, I went to jail when i killed somebody. Father In Law :- What!!! U're a killer??? Man :- Sir, It happened out of anger. It was certain man that didn't allow me to marry his daughter so i killed him. Father In Law :- U are highly welcome my son. U are on the right track. U're absolutely the right man for my daughte...

Don't allow yourself to fall into the trap of manipulation through beautiful words of politicians!

By AlatiphA - March 22, 2012

Well… I guess I'm not the only one who doesn't trust politicians because people talk about it openly all the time. We have been promised by the candidates in each electoral campaign that once we vote for them they are going to fix the problems, improve the unemployment, lower the taxes etc. They lure us with beautiful words and promise us everything that we want to hear to gain our support for them but once they are being elected, the time goes by and their electoral promises are still hanging in the air. And the same story happens time after time, election after election. Thus this is the reason why eventually people stop trusting politicians and call them openly “liars”. This is even being stated in the dictionary when we look at the definition of politician: POLITICIAN: 1. a person who is active in party politics. 2. a seeker or holder of public office, who is more concerned about winning favour or retaining power than about maintaining principles.* * http://di...

A letter to a politician- Part I!

By AlatiphA - March 21, 2012

Dear politician. It's time for another word. You have made politics a dirty word, it's like when we were kids and saying "sex" was a dirty word. May be that's why individuals with a reputation to protect are scared to be sullied with that title that's why they dont run for politician posts. All the thieves, crooks, lazy people and dishonest people all want in, it's an easy way to make money and you don't even have to work. You can even go to sleep on the job, the seats are so comfortable and expensive. Don't worry the seats are paid for by the poor tax payers. Lets be honest, you are not in it for the service to the poor tax payers, you are in it for yourself. So when you start advocating for the elections to be held at a certain time and say that it's on behalf of Ghanaians, who are you fooling? Why do you behave like elections are only about the presidental race? Like it's all about you and your ego. You want to be president or pa...

Price of a politician's brain!

By AlatiphA - March 16, 2012

A man walks into a scientist’s lab looking to buy a new brain. He asks the scientist how much the brains cost. The scientist says, "Well first we have a normal human brain, it costs Ghc 4,500, next we have a scientist’s brain, it costs Ghc 25,000, and then we come to a politician’s, it costs Ghc 2,500,000." "How come the politician’s brain costs so much?", asks the man. The scientist replies, "Because it’s never been used."

Mr. Politician! You're tom & I'm Jerry.

By AlatiphA - March 14, 2012

Mr politician, I wonder... When you were a child did you ever watch cartoons? Because from what I see you behave like one. Your like Tom from the Tom and Jerry cartoon. The big fat cat trying to make life difficult for the little mice like Jerry. Mr Politician, You sit in your big expensive house with your many servants, Drive your big expensive car fueled with taxpayers Ghc, Even get an entertainment allowance which you spend on questionable "entertainments." While I, the loyal citizen pay exorbitant taxes to support your bad habits. Mr politicians I have no food to eat, leave alone a big fridge like yours. My children go to government schools, Where for every one teacher there are sixty pupils, While yours learn in luxury with computers and state of the art equipment. Mr Politician, Everytime I try to rise up economically, you bring my business down, So that I may not complete with your multi-million business. When I fight for my rights, you have me ar...

Aaaah Pastor I can't, I am ashamed to confess!

By AlatiphA - March 10, 2012

A man went to his pastor, knelt down and began confessing tearfully: Pastor, I have sinned. Pastor : My son, what did you do, just confess what exactly you did? God Almighty will forgive you. Man: (sobbing), Pastor I committed adultery with several of the female church members Pastor : can you mention their names and how many times you slept with each of them? You see, for your forgiveness to be complete, you need to mention them, so that we can also pray for them. Man...: Aaaah Pastor I can't, I am ashamed. Pastor; Okay this is what we will do; after service, we will go to the church entrance together and watch members come out, once anyone you have slept with comes out, just say 'pau'. If it is once you slept with her - the Number of times you say 'pau' will indicate the Number of times you slept with that particular person. And so they went to the church entrance. Head usher passes wriggling her buttocks. Man: Pau. Pau Pastor: The Lord forgive you...

Why you should quit Facebook!

By AlatiphA - March 08, 2012

This is not my first attempt on quitting Facebook. A year ago, I gave myself a 30-days challenge—the challenge is to stop login into Facebook for a month. And I succeed quitting Facebook without hiccups or withdrawal symptoms. I was surprised. Then, I join back Facebook to catch up all the updates and upload all the pending photo. And now, I return to my old habit again. I usually type “fa…” in the browser and it automatically points to “ http://www.facebook.com ”. Spend a few minutes for updates, see anyone upload new photos, poke here poke there. No new updates? close browser. (10 minutes later) Open browser, type “fa…” and points to “ http://www.facebook.com ”. Rinse and repeat. This is so pointless. And this time, I decide to quit Facebook permanently. And here are my reasons. Social circle is not really expanding: I have almost 200 friends on my contact list. But I am not keeping in touch with all of them. I am only keeping in touch with 10-20 friends. The rest are inactiv...

Should public opinions be used to pronounce Politicians as corrupt?

By AlatiphA - March 07, 2012

I like to think I despise politicians more than 99.9 percent of the population. Even in my kindest moments, I see them as occasionally well- intentioned souls who are easily corrupted. Most of the time, they are a plague on society. So you might think I’m in favor of throwing them in prison on the slightest pretext. That’s surely an appealing thought, but one of the main traits of libertarianism is a belief in the rule of law. Arbitrary arrests, trumped-up charges, and unjustified imprisonments should not exist in a civilized society (though I’m ashamed to admit that such things are happening with increasing frequency in Ghana). It is a good idea to hold politicians accountable for their actions, of course, but isn’t that what elections are for? The bottom line is that politicians are despicable creatures and part of me wants to throw most of them in jail for the things they do to reduce freedom and undermine prosperity, but after-the- fact trials are not right unless real evidence...

The Magic Kitchen?

By AlatiphA - March 06, 2012

Ikemefuna is a house-boy who drinks his Boss’ wine with impunity then adds water to cover his tracks. His boss became suspicious and decided to buy Pasties (a French wine that changes color if you add water-just like Dettol). Unaware of this, Ikemefuna drank the wine as usual and topped it up with water. Immediately he added water, the Pasties became milky and he knew he was in trouble. When the boss came back and saw the changed Pasties, he knew he had nailed Ikemefuna. Ikemefuna, knowing he was in trouble, decided to stay put in the kitchen when his boss came home. The Boss, having told his wife what he observed, now swung into action. “Ikemefuna!” he called from the sitting room. Ikemefuna answered: “Yes, Boss.” “Who drank my pasties?” Ikemefuna: No answer. So the Boss went to the kitchen to meet him there: “Are you insane or what? Why when I call, you say “Yes, Boss”, but when I ask you a question you don’t answer me?” Ikemefuna retorted, “Hmmm, Oga. When you are in the...

Ghana is fifty five?

By AlatiphA - March 06, 2012

Harry! Ghana is fifty – five years old today. Praise be to God! Praise be to God Almighty! But are we really Independent? Oh, yes we are! No, we are not. How can we be Independent, when we disrespect our culture? How can we be Independent, when custodians of our culture, of our identity fight among themselves because of terminal power? How can we be Independent, when we husbands beat and butcher our wives to death? How can we be Independent, when we irresponsibly litter our gutters and streets with abandoned babies and infants? How can we be Independent, when poverty and starvation steal our joy? How can we be Independent, when dishonesty and crave for money eat us up? How can we be Independent, when laziness, pride and arrogance have become fashionable clothes that we wear in this land of our birth? How can we say we are Independent, when dirt and filth swallow us up in our communities? How can we be Independent, when hatred and bitterness fill our hearts day in da...

Ikenna's choice!

By AlatiphA - March 05, 2012

Ikenna wanted to get married. He was having trouble choosing among three likely candidates [Ifeoma, Nneka & Ngozi]. He gives each woman a present of N650,000 and watches to see what they do with the money. Ifeoma does a total make over. She goes to a fancy beauty salon gets her hair done, new make up and buys several new outfits and dresses up very nicely for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much. Ikenna was impressed. Nneka goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of olf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes. She presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much. Again, the man is impressed. Ngozi invests the money in the stock market. She earns several times the N650,000. She gives him back his N650,000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future...

Gandhi on Freedom!

By AlatiphA - March 05, 2012

The spirit of political and international liberty is universal and, it may even be said, instinctive... The attainment of freedom, whether for a man, a nation or the world, must be in exact proportion to the attainment of non-violence by each... There is no such thing as slow freedom. Till we are fully free we are all slaves... I want freedom for the full expression of my personality. I must be free to build a staircase to Sirius if I want to... No action which is not voluntary can be called moral. So long as we act like machines there can be no question of morality.... Freedom is like birth. Till we are fully free, we are slaves.... No charter of freedom will be worth looking at which does not ensure the same measure of freedom for the minorities as for the majority.... True nonviolence should mean a complete freedom from ill-will and anger and hate and an overflowing love for all.... Complete independence does not mean arrogant isolation or a superior disdain for all ...

Gandhi on Governments!

By AlatiphA - March 05, 2012

Government control gives rise to fraud, suppression of Truth, intensification of the black market and artificial scarcity. Above all, it unmans the people and deprives them of initiative, it undoes the teaching of self-help... I look upon an increase in the power of the State with the greatest fear because, although while apparently doing good by minimizing exploitation, it does the greatest harm to mankind by destroying individuality which lies at the heart of all progress... Among the many misdeeds of the British rule in India, history will look upon the Act depriving a whole nation of arms as the blackest.... We find the general work of mankind is being carried on from day to day be the mass of people acting as if by instinct.... If they were instinctively violent the world would end in no time... It is when the mass mind is unnaturally influenced by wicked men that the mass of mankind commit violence. But they forget it as they commit it because they return to their peace...

Whose delicacy?

By AlatiphA - March 02, 2012

A father used to buy BOFUROTU for his daughter when coming home from work. One day he forgot. The daughter woke up from sleep, grabed and pulled the BALLS of her father thinking they were her favorite delicacy. The father jumped from pain to be met with this odd question, " Daddy, why is my delicacy stuck to you today?" The father replied, "becos it's not your delicacy. This is for your mum"!

Warning to all politicians!

By AlatiphA - March 01, 2012

My take is that many politicians, who are in the habit of plundering the peoples’ wealth, will have to face justice now or someday. My conviction has reinforced what the people have been saying that some of our political office holders are just there to steal and loot. Corruption is a contributory factor to Ghana’s underdevelopment, therefore, there is the need to intensify the war against it. A lot of money that could have been used to benefit Ghanaians is being siphoned away by our leaders. There is a need for us to review our statute books to ensure that those who steal public funds receive capital punishment. That is the only way to solve this problem in Ghana otherwise it would continue to be the same story. I therefore, called for the establishment of a separate court to try corruption cases, noting that the present system was being used to frustrate prosecution of offenders. The system now is that those defending these politicians in corruption trials and those prosecuting,...