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The trial!

By AlatiphA - January 19, 2013

A Mampurugu man, a Moshie and a Dagomba man were lost in a forest and were captured by cannibals. The king of the cannibals told the three friends that they could live if they pass a trial. The 1st instruction of the trial was that they were to go deep into the forest and get 10 pieces of the same kind of fruits. The 2nd instruction will be given when they return with the fruits. The three men went their separate ways to gather fruits. The Mampurugu man came back and said to the king, "I brought 10 apples". The King explained the trial to him: "you have to swallow the fruits without any expression on your face or you will be killed". The first apple went in, but on the second one, he winced out in pain, so he was killed. The Moshie man arrived and showed the king 10 berries. When the king explained the trial to him, he thought to himself that this should be easy... 1,2,3,4 ,5,6,7,8 and on the ninth berry, he burst out in laughter and was killed. The Mampuru...

Iron phone!

By AlatiphA - January 19, 2013

Naporo was walking in the street and met Mumuni who asked him what had happened to his ears as both were covered with bandages. He said "I was ironing my shirt when my phone rang. Instead of picking up my phone, I picked up the hot iron so I burnt my ear". Mumuni asked, "So what happened to your other ear?" He said, "That same idiot called again!"

A blonde counsellor!

By AlatiphA - January 19, 2013

A blonde began a job as an elementary school counselor, and she was eager to help. One day during recess she noticed a boy standing by himself on the side of a playing field while the rest of the kids enjoyed a game of football at the other. Sandy approached and asked if he was alright. The boy said he was. A little while later, however, Sandy noticed the boy was in the same spot, still by himself. Approaching again, Sandy said, "Would you like me to be your friend?" The boy hesitated, then said, "Okay", looking at the woman suspiciously. Feeling she was making progress, Sandy then asked, "Why are you standing here alone?" "Because," the little boy said with great exasperation, "I'm the fucking goalie."

Love letter from an accountant!

By AlatiphA - January 15, 2013

Dearest, In the Journal of my heart, I have written a Journal Entry, Debiting my love & crediting my affection. Now partners, I write this Narration. Your beauty is the Capital of our business, and your eyes are Stock in trade, now let us enter into a Transaction, Without providing Depreciation. Your first love I have already indicated On the Ledger Folio column, Anyway, our relations are based on Double Entry System. Our love is Real & Tangible proposals, Which can be realized, Interest on the same, Can be capitalized. Partner, you are like a Contra Entry, You are on my Debit Side & Credit Side, Both at the same time, And so my partner now , let us Rectify, All our errors & total the Trial Balance, Of our affairs & emotions, Without maintaining any Suspense Account. And any difference in the Trial Balance, And In the Balance Sheet of our life. Our children will be Assets & Liabilities, If they are boys, shall we call them Sundry Debtors? If they are girls...

They are all busy!

By AlatiphA - January 15, 2013

One day, the phone rang, and Little Johnny answered. The Caller: May I speak to your parents? Little Johnny: They're busy. The Caller: Oh. Is anybody else there? Little Johnny: The police. The Caller: Can I speak to them? Little Johnny: They're busy. The Caller: Oh. Is anybody else there? Little Johnny: The firemen. The Caller: Can I speak to them? Little Johnny: They're busy. The Caller: So let me get this straight -- your parents, the police, and the firemen are there, but they're all busy? What are they doing? Little Johnny: Looking for me."

World war III?

By AlatiphA - January 15, 2013

George W. Bush and Colin Powell are sitting in a bar. A guy walks in and asks the barman, "Isn`t that Bush and Powell sitting over there?" The barman says, "Yep, that`s them." So the guy walks over and says, "Wow, this is a real honor. What are you guys doing in here?" Bush says, "We`re planning World War III". And the guy says, "Really? What`s going to happen?" Bush says, "Well, we`re going to kill 140 million Iraqis and one intelligent blonde. The guy exclaimed, "Intelligent blonde!! Why kill a blonde?" Bush turns to Powell, punches him on the shoulder and says, "See, smart ass? I told you no one would worry about the 140million Iraqis!"

Say cheese!

By AlatiphA - January 15, 2013

Three dead bodies of Indian politicians turn up at the mortuary, all with very big smiles on their faces. The medical examiner calls the police to show them what has happened. A Detective Inspector is sent and is taken to the first body. "He was a BJP leader, 65 years of age, died of heart failure whilst making love to his mistress. Hence the enormous smile, Inspector," says the medical examiner. The Detective Inspector is taken to the second dead man: "He was a minister from ruling Congress party, was 70, made a pile from government funds, and spent it all on whiskey. Died of alcohol poisoning, hence the smile." "Nothing unusual here", thinks the Inspector, and asks to be shown the last body. "Ah," says the medical examiner. "This is the most unusual one. MP from Bihar, 60, struck by lightning." "Why is he smiling then?` inquires the Inspector. To which the medical officer replies, "He thought he was having his pict...