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Showing posts from September, 2012

Taking advantage of debts!

A man goes to his friend’s house, rings the bell, and the wife answers. “Hi, is Tony home?” “No, he has gone to the store,” she replies. “Well, do you mind if I wait?” “No, come in.” They sit in the hall and the friend says, “Nora, you know you have the greatest breasts I’ve ever seen. I’d give you $100 if I could just see one.” Nora thinks about it for a second and obliges. She opens her robe and shows him one of her breasts. An elated Chris promptly thanks her and gives her a $100. They sit there for a while longer and Chris says, “They are so beautiful I’ve got to see both of them. I’ll give you another $100 if I could just see both of them.” Nora thinks about the offer and obliges once again. She opens her robe and Chris savours the dish on display. An elated Chris thanks her, gives her another $100, and leaves. A while later, Tony arrives home and his wife says, “You know, your weird friend Chris came over.” Tony thinks about it for a second

The two boys and the naked woman (18+)

Once upon a time there were two young boys playing by a stream. One of the boys saw a bush and ran into it and the other boy who couldn’t figure out why his friend had done that followed up immediately. The other boy upon reaching the bush realised that his friend was looking at something so he also looked on out of curiosity. The two boys were looking at a woman bathing naked at the other side of the same stream. All of a sudden the second boy took off running away from the scene. The first boy couldn’t understand why he ran away so he ran after his friend. Finally, he caught up with him and asked why he ran away. The boy said to his friend, “My mom told me if I ever saw a naked lady I would turn to stone, and I felt something getting hard, so I ran.

Law 48: Assume Formlessness!

By taking a shape, by having a visible plan, you open yourself to attack. Instead of taking a form for your enemy to grasp, keep yourself adaptable and on the move. Accept the fact that nothing is certain and no law is fixed. The best way to protect yourself is to be as fluid and formless as water; never bet on stability or lasting order. Everything changes. The 48 laws of power! By Robert Greene and Joost Elffers

Pet names!

Mr. Naporo's fiancee said to him, now that we are engaged, we should start calling each other pet names. He asked her, so what do you want to be calling me? She said, "I will be calling you TIGER". Why? He asked. She replied, "Coz you're handsome, tall charming, strong, calculating, smart and very good in BEDmatics". She then asked him, "what will you be calling me?" Mr. Naporo said, "ZEBRA". The lady still smilling seductive, "wow, that's lovely and sweet, why did you choose a lovely name?" She asked. He replied, "bcoz of your stretch marks". Ha. Lol!!!

Law 47: Do not go Past the Mark you Aimed for; In Victory, Learn when to Stop!

The moment of victory is often the moment of greatest peril. In the heat of victory, arrogance and overconfidence can push you past the goal you had aimed for, and by going too far, you make more enemies than you defeat. Do not allow success to go to your head. There is no substitute for strategy and careful planning. Set a goal, and when you reach it, stop. The 48 laws of power! By Robert Greene and Joost Elffers

Law 46: Never appear too Perfect!

Appearing better than others is always dangerous, but most dangerous of all is to appear to have no faults or weaknesses. Envy creates silent enemies. It is smart to occasionally display defects, and admit to harmless vices, in order to deflect envy and appear more human and approachable. Only gods and the dead can seem perfect with impunity. The 48 laws of power! By Robert Greene and Joost Elffers

We are honourable men!

“One day, while a woodcutter was cutting a branch of a tree above a river, his axe fell into the river. When he cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, “Why are you crying?” The woodcutter replied that his axe has fallen into water, and he needed the axe to make his living. The Lord went down into the water and reappeared with a golden axe. “Is this your axe?” the Lord asked. The woodcutter replied, “No.” The Lord again went down and came up with a silver Axe. “Is this your axe?” the Lord asked. Again, the woodcutter replied, “No.” The Lord went down again and came up with an iron Axe. “Is this your axe?” the Lord asked. The woodcutter replied, “Yes.” The Lord was pleased with the man’s honesty and gave him all three axes to keep, and the woodcutter went home happy. Some time later the woodcutter was walking with his wife along the riverbank, and his wife fell into the river. When he cried out, the Lord again appeared and asked him, “Why are you crying?” “Oh Lord,

Law 45: Preach the Need for Change, but Never Reform too much at Once!

Everyone understands the need for change in the abstract, but on the day-to-day level people are creatures of habit. Too much innovation is traumatic, and will lead to revolt. If you are new to a position of power, or an outsider trying to build a power base, make a show of respecting the old way of doing things. If change is necessary, make it feel like a gentle improvement on the past. The 48 laws of power! By Robert Greene and Joost Elffers

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