Posts

Showing posts from October, 2011

Call Center? Lol!

Husband and his wife agreed that anytime they want to have make love, they will call it a 'PHONE CALL' so that the kids will not decode. One day, the husband sent his son to tell his mother that he want to make a phone call. Mother replies: Tell your father that the Network reception is bad today. Husband: Tell your mother that if there is no Network at home, i will go to the 'Public Phone'. Wife sent back, tell your father that if he dares go to a Public Phone, then I will open a '' Call Center'' at home... hehehe Lol.

Is she a whore? This never would have happened. If the rubber hadn't torn.

Roses are red, Pickles are green. I love your legs and What's between. Kissing is a habit. Fucking is a game. Guys get all the pleasure. Girls get all the pain. The guy says i love you. You believe it's true. But when your tummy, Starts to swell, He says, 'to hell with you'. 10 minutes of pleasure. Nine months in pain. Three days in hospital. A baby without a name. Some called him/her bastard. The mother is a whore. This never would have happened. If the rubber hadn't torn.

PLEASE SAVE OUR VILLAGEwoo, DON'T COME BACK HOMEwoo! Lol.

A Nigerian man called his mom from the USA. Man : Mom, I have AIDS. Mother: Heeeee... chinekee! Don't come back home woo, my son woo, don't come back home. God forbid! Man : Why mom, why now, what I do nowooo? Mother: Heeee....you foolish boy! You see my son, if you come back home, your wife will be infected. From your wife to your broda, from your broda to our maido, from our maido to your DADYO, from your daady to my sisto, from my sisto to her husbando, from him to me, from me to the gardener, from the gardener to your sister. And if your sister gets this AIDs, hmmm, heeeee, the whole village is in trouble..wooo ! So in the name of GODwoo... PLEASE SAVE OUR VILLAGEwoo, DON'T COME BACK HOMEwoo!!!!!! Hahahaha AIDS is real!

Hold on to Love!

Hold on to Love With all your might Don't let it get Too far from sight It only comes around Every once in awhile To make you laugh Cry and smile It may break your Heart But you can't deny When you're in Love It's the ultimate high To look into another’s eyes Feel weak in the knees To float with the clouds High above the trees To kiss rose-petal lips And hold your fragile hand To feel the way I feel Isn't Love just grand

The cover it all!

What comes to your mind when you think of a Muslim woman? A mysterious, veiled victim of male oppression, awaiting Western liberation? A slogan-shouting terrorist? An uneducated foreigner with whom you have little or nothing in common? Unless your social circle includes Muslim friends and acquaintances, the chances are that your impressions of Muslim women have largely been formed by negative media stereotypes - images that usually have little to do with real life, and may have been designed to attract more viewers, sell more products, or gain support for someone's political agenda. How much do you really know about Muslim women's lives or views, and why does it matter? Well, for one thing, Muslims account for 20-25% of the people on this planet, and Islam has become the second main religion in Europe. But did you know that the majority of European and American converts to Islam are women - not men? Would it surprise you to learn that many women in the Muslim world feel sor...

Crack your ribs! Lol.

A girl went to see a pastor for counceling and she was asked what happened? she simply reply my boyfriend did a bad thing to me. The pastor asked did he beat you? She said no. Did he slap you? She said no. The pastor hugged her and asked, did he do this to you? She said no. He kissd her and askd did he do that to you? She said no. The pastor laid her down and made love to her and asked her did he do that to you? She said no and added, he gave me HIV.... The pastor fell down & fainted. AIDS is real.

I love yogurt! Lol.

Two kids were playing and found a used condom, took it home as a balloon and the kids mother got upset, warned them not to pick things while playing. When the mother left, one of the kid said to the other, why was mum so angry that we found a ballon? and the other replied, thank God we didn't tell her that we drank the yogurt inside it. Hahahahahaha. Lol.

Temporal madness!

"Love is a temporal madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being "in love" which any of us can convince ourselves we are. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident.

A woman's dua for her future husband!

O Allah! Please grant me the one Who will be the garment for my soul Who will satisfy half of my deen And in doing so make me whole Make him righteous and on your path In all he'll do and say And sprinkle water on me at Fajr Reminding me to pray May he earn from halal sources And spend within his means May he seek Allah's guidance always To fulfill all his dreams May he always refer to Qur'an and the Sunnah as his moral guide May he thank and appreciate Allah For the woman at his side May he be conscious of his anger And often fast and pray Be charitable and sensitive In every possible way May he honor and protect me And guide me in this life And please Allah! Make me worthy to be his loving wife And finally, O Allah! Make him abundant in love and laughter In taqwa and sincerity In striving for the hereafter! May Allah grant all the Muslim sisters with such husbands... Ameen♥

Popular Posts

ICT for JHS

Regular BECE ICT Pasco

Gov’t Intervenes As Court Orders Auctioning Of GHANASCO Cars

AlatiphA Products


AlatiphA xUtils

AlatiphA xCases

REVOLUTIONIZE HOW YOU CHANGE TEXT CASES WITH ALATIPHA xCASES ADD-IN!

Welcome to the next level of Excel functionality!

Enter the AlatiphA xCases Add-In, a powerful tool designed to simplify and automate the process of converting text cases in Excel. Whether you’re preparing a report, cleaning up imported data, or standardizing formatting, this add-in is your go-to solution.

Features at a Glance

Uppercase Conversion: Quickly convert all selected text to uppercase.

Lowercase Conversion: Transform text to lowercase for uniformity.

Proper Case Conversion: Capitalize the first letter of each word, ideal for names and titles.

Sentence Case Conversion: Capitalize only the first letter of each sentence, perfect for paragraph formatting.

Why Use the AlatiphA xCases Add-In?

Save Time and Effort: Manually adjusting text cases in Excel can consume valuable time, especially when dealing with extensive data. This add-in automates the process, saving you hours of work.

Enhance Data Accuracy: By automating case changes, the add-in minimizes the risk of human error, ensuring your data remains consistent and professional.

User-Friendly Design: With a clean interface and simple commands, the AlatiphA xCases Add-In is accessible to both novice and advanced Excel users. Prompts guide users through errors, such as selecting non-text ranges or working on protected sheets.

Say goodbye to manual use of functions to change texts cases. AlatiphA xCases—Excel, elevated!

Learn More

Price: GH¢ 0.00

Buy Now
AlatiphA xUtils

AlatiphA xCurrencies

REVOLUTIONIZE HOW TO FORMAT CURRENCIES WITH ALATIPHA xCURRENCIES ADD-IN!

Do you find yourself repeatedly formatting numbers and currencies in Excel?

Whether you're a finance professional, an accountant, or simply a power user of spreadsheets, managing currency formats can be time-consuming and tedious.

Enter the AlatiphA xCurrencies Add-In, an innovative Excel add-in that simplifies formatting tasks with a suite of powerful macros.

Features at a Glance

Format as GH¢ (Ghanaian Cedi): Specifically tailored for users who frequently work with Ghanaian Cedis, this add-in simplifies the process.

A simple prompt lets you choose whether to format with or without decimals.

Add "GH¢" to Empty Cells: This add-in goes a step further by allowing users to populate empty cells with the "GH¢" symbol. It’s especially useful for marking placeholders or templates in financial documents.

Multi-Currency Formatting: With businesses operating globally, it’s common to work with multiple currencies in the same spreadsheet.

This add-in supports formatting for multiple currencies like Ghanaian Cedis (GH¢), US Dollars ($), Euros (€), British Pounds (£), Japanese Yung (¥) and Nigerian Naira (NGN).

You can specify whether to include decimal places, making it perfect for financial reporting or transaction summaries.

Why Use AlatiphA Currencies?

Save Time and Effort: This add-in isn’t just about formatting—it’s about efficiency and accuracy.

By automating repetitive tasks, it allows you to focus on analyzing data and making decisions.

Plus, its flexibility to handle multiple currencies ensures it fits seamlessly into any workflow.

Enhance Data Accuracy: By automating currency formatting, the add-in minimizes the risk of human error, ensuring your data remains consistent and professional.

Works only on empty cells, ensuring no accidental overwriting of existing data.

Automatically centers the GH¢ in the cells for better aesthetics when marking placeholders.

User-Friendly Design: With a clean interface and simple commands, the AlatiphA xCurrencies Add-In is accessible to both novice and advanced Excel users:

Validation of Selection: Ensures users select a valid range before proceeding.

Protection Checks: Prevents modifications to protected sheets, safeguarding your data integrity.

Interactive Prompts: Guides users through choices for currency symbols and decimal preferences.

Say goodbye to manually changing the currencies. AlatiphA xCurrencies — Excel, elevated!

Learn More

Price: GH¢ 0.00

Buy Now

AlatiphA Ebooks


  • More Ebooks »



  • AlatiphA is an Education and Technology blog that provides quality contents on education and technology.

    AlatiphA is optimized for news, ebooks, educational templates, training, learning, testing (quizing) and many more.

    Tutorials, eBooks and tests are constantly reviewed to avoid errors but we cannot warrant full correctness of all contents.

    While using this blog, you agree to have read and accepted our:

    Disclaimer,
    Terms of use
    &
    Privacy policy.

    We're Social