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Showing posts from June, 2013

Jealous Husband!

By AlatiphA - June 23, 2013

HUSBAND: My wife where are you? WIFE: At home love. HUSBAND: Are you sure? WIFE: Yes. HUSBAND: Turn on the blender. WIFE: (turns blender on) reeeereeee reeeereeee HUSBAND: Ok my love goodbye. HUSBAND: My wife where are you? WIFE: At home love. HUSBAND: Are you sure? WIFE: Yes HUSBAND: Turn on the blender WIFE: (turns blender on) reeereeeereeee HUSBAND: Ok my love goodbye The next day, the husband decides to go home without notice, and finds his son alone and he asked him son where is your mother? SON: I don't know, she went out with the blender.

Useless Information!

By AlatiphA - June 22, 2013

You all might have probably heard the story about Malcolm Forbes ,who once got lost floating for miles in one of his famous balloons and finally landed in the middle of a cornfield. He spotted a man coming towards him and asked: Malcolm: Sir, can you tell me where i am? The man: Certainly,you are in a basket in a field of corn. Malcolm: You must be a statistician. The man: That's amazing,how did you know that? Malcolm: "Easy", your information is concise,precise and absolutely USELESS.

Better change oil!

By AlatiphA - June 22, 2013

A white man 80 years of age married a young white lady. A year later he carried her to the hospital, and she had a baby. The nurse said to the man "at your age, how do you do that?" The man answered "you just have to keep the motor running." Another year passes, and the man carries her back to the hospital, another baby. The same nurse said to the man and asked "you are something else, how do you do that?" He said "I told you that you just have to keep the motor running." Another year and back to the hospital for another baby. The same nurse said "you are unbelieveable, how do you do that?!" He said "you got to keep the motor running." She answered "Well, you better change oil, because this one came out black. "

Daddy's Charges!

By AlatiphA - June 21, 2013

A young blonde farm girl answers the door and sees an older neighbor there. "Daddy isn't home, but I know what you want and I can help you," she says. "You want our bull to service your cow. Well, Daddy charges $100 for his best bull." "That's not what I want," the neighbor says. "Well, we do have a young bull who's just starting out. Daddy charges $50 for him," the girl says. "That's not what I want," the neighbor sternly says. "We have an old bull out in the pasture. He can still do the job. Daddy only charges $20 for him," says the girl. "That's not what I want. I came here to see your father about your brother," the neighbor explains. "Your brother, Henry, made my daughter pregnant." "Oh! Well, you'd better talk to Daddy about that," the girl says, "cause I don't know what he charges for Henry. "

English Guru!

By AlatiphA - June 21, 2013

I was a candidate at a WAEC Examination. We were WRITING English. I shaded the ones I knew and was waiting for manner to fall from Heaven when I noticed a very beautiful girl sitting beside me. She was shading and was not looking up. Through the help of my long neck, I peeped and checked her work, she was on number 65, I was still on number 21 and time was running out. I quickly thanked God and started shading along with her. We got to number 98 together, suddenly, she looked up, caught me and shouted in a low tone, "What is it? Why is you dey copying me? Copys! copys! You is not shaming! As big as you are! You are a disgrace to your manhood! Na so I shout "Heeeey! heeeeyyy!!! I am finished!, who has eraser!!!"

The Prisoner!

By AlatiphA - June 21, 2013

A bride tells her husband, "Honey, you know I'm a virgin and I don't know anything about sex. Can you explain it to me first?" The husband replied, "Okay, sweetheart. Putting it simply, we will call your private place 'the prison' and call my private thing 'the prisoner', So what we do is put the prisoner into the prison." And they made love for the first time and the husband was smiling with satisfaction. Nudging him, his bride giggles, "Honey the prisoner seems to have escaped." Turning on his side, he smiles and says, "Then we will have to re-imprison him." They made love again, the bride says, "Honey, the prisoner is out again!" The husband rises to the occasion and they made love again. The bride again says, "Honey, the prisoner escaped again," "Hey, it's not a life sentence!" the husband yelled .