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Showing posts from February, 2013

Firm this up a little!

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One morning while making breakfast, a man walked up to his wife, pinched her on the butt and said, "If you firmed up, we could get rid of your control top panty hose". While this was on the edge of intolerable, she kept silent. The next morning the man woke his wife with a pinch on each of her breasts and said, "You know, if you firmed these up, we could get rid of your bra." This was beyond a silent response, so she rolled over and grabbed him by his "weenie". With a death grip in place, she said, "You know, if you firmed this up, we could get rid of the gardener, the postman, the pool man, and your brother."
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The accountant tattoo!

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Larry gets home late one night and his wife, Linda, says? "Where in the hell have you been?" He replies, "I was out getting a tattoo." "A tattoo?" she frowned. "What kind of tattoo did you get?" "I got a hundred dollar bill on my privates," he said proudly. "What the hell were you thinking?" she said, shaking her head in disdain. "Why on earth would an accountant get a hundred dollar bill tattooed on his privates?" "Well, one, I like to watch my money grow; two, once in a while I like to play with my money; three, I like how money feels in my hand; and lastly, instead of you going out shopping, you can stay right here at home and blow a hundred bucks anytime you want."
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Office romance!

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The pretty secretary came in late for work the third day in a row. The boss called her into his office and said, "Now look Sharon, I know we had a wild fling for a while, but that's over. I expect you to conduct yourself like any other employee around here." The boss pressed on, "Who told you could come and go as you please around here?" Sharon simply smiled, lit up a cigarette, and while exhaling said, "My lawyer."
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Silent and odourless fart?

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A little old lady goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor I have this problem with gas, but it really doesn't bother me too much. "My farts never smell and are always silent. As a matter of fact, I've farted at least 20 times since I've been here in your office. You didn't know I was farting because they don't smell and are silent." The doctor says, "I see, take these pills and come back to see me next week." The next week the lady comes back. "Doctor," she says, "I don't know what the heck you gave me, but now my farts... although still silent...stink terribly." The doctor says, "Good !!! Now that we've cleared up your sinuses, let's work on your hearing."
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Elboing the perfect direction!

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Jones: Honey, you have never bothered to invite me to your house. Can you give me the exact directions to your house so that I visit today? Mavis: Love, I will be happy to receive you. Follow the following instructions: "Come to the front gate of the apartment where you dropped me, look for flat 2A, you'll find a lift on your right. Hit 7 with your ELBOW. Get out of the lift you'll find my flat on the left. Hit the doorbell with your ELBOW and I’ll get the door for you". Jones: That seems easy but why would I hit buttons with my elbows? Mavis: Oh my God! Are you coming empty handed?
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Politician Akpos the bread winner?

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Journalist: Hon. Akpos, first of all, is it true that you are the bread winner in your family? Hon. Akpos : I am not hearing that allegation for the first time, I have been hearing it for some time, I know this allegation is coming from my political enemies who want to tarnish my image. I want to tell you that I have never been in any competition to win bread. Ask them where I won that bread. If anyone saw me entering a competition to win bread, then they must provide the evidence otherwise I will start suing anyone saying I am a bread winner, yes including you reporters and your newspapers.
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ICT for JHS

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If you are looking for  ICT  notes for  JHS , then you are in a right place. This book has been written in accordance with the current syllabus for the  Basic Education   Certificate Examination (B.E.C.E)  for  Junior High Schools (J.H.S) . The book covers the three year syllabus . This book will provide you ICT notes and step by step tutorials with definitions, explanations, examples and illustrations. This book is created to make the teaching and Learning of ICT lively, handy and encourage students to use their phones, tablets and computers for learning. The book will also help you learn anywhere and at anytime. PREVIEW BELOW
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Regular BECE ICT Pasco

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This book contains regular Basic Education Certificate Examination (BECE) Past Questions for Junior High Schools (J.H.S) by West Africa Examination Council (WAEC). Included in this book are Past Questions & Answers for the years: 2011, 2012, 2013, 2014, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, 2020, 2021, 2022 & 2023. This book, I strongly believe, will bring success to all users who study it carefully. PREVIEW BELOW 
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Gov’t Intervenes As Court Orders Auctioning Of GHANASCO Cars

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The Northern Regional Director of Education, Mohammed Haroon Cambodia has confirmed government will be paying a staggering GHC400,000 as judgment debt to a private citizen in order to stop the auctioning of vehicles belonging to the Ghana Senior High School in Tamale. Government is offering the bailout following a chronic transport difficulty that has hit the school for the last two years after a court order impounded the only bus for students and a brand new official pickup vehicle. Two Nissan patrol vehicles belonging to the Education directorate were also taken by the court. The vehicles were confiscated to be auctioned to pay up salary arrears of a former headmaster of the school who accused the school and education service of injustices including inappropriate dismissal and concealing his promotion letter. Late Lionel Mahama was dismissed as headmaster of the school in 1997. His salary was blocked for years until a CHRAJ ruled in his favor and ordered his reinstateme...
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